weddingsv make me drug and hornr
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
