My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
