its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
