So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
