You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
