Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
