He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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