If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
