That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
