he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
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i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
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You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize