I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
