Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
