Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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