I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize