I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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