Tell her she can't have a vagina
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
