There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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