and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
