girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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