it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
