haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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