oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
