I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
