yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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