were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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