I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
even my farts smell like vagina
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
