What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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