But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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