You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
