Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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