dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
