Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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