She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
