Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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