sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
