Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
