I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.