I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
