wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?