her vagine was all disorganized.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..