She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
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so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
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But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.