Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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