South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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