You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
