I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Actions speak louder than pants.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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