i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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