I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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