you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
