Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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