I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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