You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
