why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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