That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
