I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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