I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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