It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
