you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize