Screwed.edu
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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