remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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