Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
