im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
