woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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