When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize