i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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