you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
