she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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