that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
