Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize