I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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