she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
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In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
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You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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