You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
