in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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