the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize